C: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking
C: The plumage don't enter into it. Lovely plumage! He has ceased to be! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! C: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! Voice Over: This is a frightened city. I wish to make a complaint! I also added some brackets for where you live for the train part. A customer enters a pet shop. Yes, gangs of old ladies attacking defenseless fit young men. Owner: What do you mean "miss"? Norwegian Blues stun easily!C: Now look, buddy, I've had enough of this. The Dead Parrot sketch as edited so it doesn't sound awkward if you're a modern American/Canadian! Never be made fun of for saying "squire", or "lad", or "Guv'na"! He is demised!C: He's not pining, he's passed on!
O: Well, o'course it was nailed there! Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts
It's stone dead. C: 'E's not pinin'! It's a stiff! This is a late parrot!
C: Never mind that, my lad. at one right now. O: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'!
A LUMBERJACK!
Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss? the first place was that it had been NAILED there. wrong with it! This parrot is no more! right out of parrots.
If I hadn't nailed that bird down,
I got on the (Place name) train and found myself deposited here in (Other place).C: (to the camera) The pet shop man's brother was lying!O: No, no...not a pun...What's that thing that spells the same backwards as forwards?C: It's not a palindrome! The palindrome of (Place name) would be (Place name backwards)!C: No! it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and
A satire on poor customer service, it was written by John Cleese and Graham Chapman and initially performed in the show's first series, in the eighth episode ("Full Frontal Nudity", which first aired 7 December 1969).
#comedy #deadparrot #montypython #script #sketch. I … O: We're closin' for lunch. 'E's passed on! 'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! (The owner does not respond.) purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique. Remarkable bird, eh? C: I'm sorry, I have a cold. Owner: What do you mean "miss"? He has ceased
I wish to make a complaint! Get the ENTIRE sketch in .wav format (5 minutes and 40 seconds long) O: Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, we're
He's off the twig! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have flew up to those bars and VOOM!C: Buddy, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it!
Blue, idn'it, ay? Customer: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint. Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, beautiful plumage!C: The plumage doesn't enter into it.
The Pet Shoppe.
Script 1.7K 2 0. by JoshuaKilimnik. He's dead, that's what's wrong with it.C: Look, buddy, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.O: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! I'm here to make a complaint!C: Never mind that, sir, I'm here to complain about this parrot that I purchased half an hour ago from this pet shop.O: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?C: I'll tell you what's wrong with it. Fear of a new kind of violence which is terrorizing the city. He has bid adieu to life and went up to meet St. Peter! I never wanted to do this in the first place. Customer: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint. All of these statements are valid to the effect of the current status of this here bird!C: You wanna get anything done in this country, you've gotta complain about it 'til you're blue in the mouth.O: I've had a look 'round back, and uh, we're out of parrots.C: Well then, it's scarcely replaceable then, isn't it?O: Look, tell you what, if you go to my brother's pet shop in (place name), he'll replace the parrot for you.The customer enters the same pet shop. This parrot is no more! O: Yeah! Norwegian Blues
His metabolic processes are now history!He's kicked the bucket! (The owner does not respond.) O: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it? C: "VOOM"?!? Feeweeweewee!
Share. Never be made fun of for saying "squire", or "lad", or "Guv'na"!A customer enters a pet shop.